The Pause
Pause is something that comes between stimuli and response.
In my past I used to react to things on an emotional and instinctual level. After a while in my program and working my steps I have noticed that the pause turns my reaction into a response. In my past a reaction usually seemed to make the situation worse. In contrast, I find the response a more calculated and less hurtful way of acting upon the situation. This has paid off in huge ways over the years. I can most definitely say that I cause far less harm to myself and others with the use of the pause. In the moment of pause I am able to recognize what instinct in me is being triggered and how to best avoid an escalation of what ever it is that is happening.
I have the chance to put my words through the TNN filter that is now functioning in my head. 1. Is it true? 2. Is it nice? 3. Is it necessary?
If I cannot get the answer of “yes” to all three of these questions, it is probably best not to say anything at all.
Life is much easier with a pause in strategic places. I’m not saying that I can do this all of the time and that it always makes things better. I find that when I am able to employ this tool, things don’t get worse, and not making things worse is certainly better.